Writing to inform you that you are no longer considered a trustworthy person for cosigning a lease and due to your previous track record of putting Pam’s desires/tantrums before mundane average fathering I see you as a risk to my perfect reputation, perfect credit score and perfect landlord relations’ history. The fact that Pam’s changing plans for her family that I am an afterthought at best that she allows you have has proven to be disastrous for my health and well being. When you were not allowed to send me $30 for medication when I was in Toronto and when you gave me secret hidden money while ranting at insane volume about my evilness, you two proved two more times that she is the boss. Your word is worthless. She runs your life, just like you told me you liked. But that is your choice. I don’t blame Pam, I blame a man who repeatedly sells out his first born and only flesh and blood child with a disability to make conflict go away with the woman he choose to live with. No one is giving it to you from both ends. When you opt out of talking responsibility you still are responsible. I am tired of Pam and you treating me like a criminal. I am a good person and if I was there in person I suppose I could scream at you endlessly like Pam and get my way too but I was not raised to be a manipulative bitch who bullies others to get her own way. I have far more class than the Jerry Springer nightmare you brought into our lives. You are responsible for your actions, not Pam. She won’t allow you to give me the same as the girls she is mother to. But it is YOUR fault for allowing this treatment of me to continue rampantly for decades.
As for me being a risk financially to you, let’s look at the FACTS about character and money, shall we?
Facts:
I have never been fired from any job. I have never not paid a bill, even if it came when I was living in a different country. I have been paying rent and bills since I was 15 years old and have never broken a lease or ran from a bill. Never once has a collection agency contacted me. I paid off my student loans in one year by living on just $700 a month because I hate debt. I never cheated on either of my husbands. I never asked my child to lie to either of my husbands about my cheating. I never stole from work, especially not expensive furniture like GMC chairs. I once had to end a lease before it was over but gave 6 weeks notice, had the landlord keep my security deposit (although the place was spotless), and he was very understanding that I had to move to be near a better hospital. He has no ill will towards me because I am not and have never been an irresponsible bad person in my entire life. If I had been a fuck up how would I be alive today? I TOOK CARE OF ME and MY BILLS for the last 25 years, with recent help from Mom. Your much needed $500 I fear will be the first thing Pam cuts from the “family budget” far before the sailboat, the kids’ lessons, her Martha Stewart Living magazine subscriptions, the house, the cars etc. To me, your money, which normal fathers demand their disabled daughters take because they understand the role of a father is to put the child not their selfish need to shut their wife up as she throws fits to get her, because normal fathers are adults, that money hangs dangerously because I will be the first corner she cuts and you will allow it because you fear her and always take the easiest path for Donald, no matter whom it hurts.
I am not sacrificingmy dignity to grovel to such low class people for a signature. Just a signature on a normal one year commitment that rent will be paid. If that lease was broken by me suddenly becoming a selfish bitch who has the luxury of making a mistake (nothing I have ever had, trust me, I never got a Pam to control me/take care of everything), do you know what would happen?
You would not pay anything because you are in NY state. You might want some facts instead of listening to Pam slam me as a risk. Look, she is the risk for me. She wrecked my life and has the power to at any time deem my $500 as unnecessary for her needs. I know in her eyes I am charity not family. If this was one of her kids, she’d move the moon. I am from the practice family she wants erased possibly because in that family she is the whore who fucked a married man and got him to leave his kid. She is not and has never taken any efforts as the grown up in this relationship to change that role, she just wants me erased and when she decided that she cannot afford that $500 she will make you stop sending it. And then you all can go sailing.
However, a landlord in VT will not hire a NY state lawyer to go after someone for a few thousand dollars. So guess what if that lease was broken, who gets hurt? A 70 year old man who is not looking to rent and has a wife to be on a lease with him if he needs to? No, not you. ME. Because when I next try to get an apartment I cannot use them as previous landlords. Since unlike some of my family I have never in my life lied, this would greatly upset me. I have spent a life trying to undo the curse of flakiness scam artistry that comes with when I say Royce-Roll to anyone who has ever met you. It is humiliating to be your daughter with your bad reputation that I have worked so hard to overcome by being so perfect in every way. I am 40 and have done no damage to anyone financially or emotionally or physically – my honor is proven with a perfect track record.
Did I ever steal and wreck your car? Throw wild parties when you were out of town on prom night? Steal your booze? No. Did I ever steal money from you? No. Have I ever screwed you over? No.
Meanwhile you tell me Pam did not come at me with a knife when you guys had your nightly screamfest tantrum,and yet you say you are not calling me a liar. Sir, you cannot have it both ways. You cannot appease a crazy woman and be a decent person. You made your choice. Your track record of lies, irresponsibility, risking my life, neglecting my health needs, unreliability – even if you keep blaming Pam for all of it – it YOUR CHOICE.
No one is pulling you in two ways. You have a disabled daughter. No one cares if you knew that. You just do. No one wants to hear your epic victim tales that you use to manipulate us with guilt. My life has been far harder than yours and I am a better person.
I am tired of being treated well when Pam allows it and like shit when she is mad at you. Your severe instability due to your rocky marriage is your problem, not mine. Out of love most fathers sacrifice for their children. Out of greed you sacrificed me to have a spoiled daughter – I mean controlling mother – I mean a wife you fear. No one cares about your victim pleas anymore. They fall on deaf ears.
Pam lost her job? Too bad, everyone has. I grew up in small apartments, with quasi-legal cars with holes in the floor, with stolen furniture eating egg noodles and hot dogs with ketchup. My standard of living never rose like yours has. Everyone I know has filled bankruptcy and got apartments and stopped paying for gym memberships, cable TV and magazines and oh yeah boat moorings, as if they had those! We all suck it up. We go to food banks and make 10 calls being on hold for 40 minutes to social services to get $10 for fuel. It’s called being poor. I was raised poor. No special fancy daycares for me, no language classes, no rowing classes, no Wii. When you and your new family (where I am like the letter Y, sometimes I am in the family and sometimes not, for rules no one exactly understands, oh, Pam’s “mood episodes” as you call them – but then deny it - and your terror of them) are living at the level of poverty I have been at my whole life, then I’ll cry you a river. Til then, I really do not care.
I hope you continue to send the $500 so I can you know eat and have a room to sleep in, but do not fear: Your terrible track record of unpredictable behavior makes you a threat to MY financial well being.
This attempt to have a father has yet again failed because you still do not know anything about fathering. Since Pam is your puppet master I wish she was a kinder more compassionate saner and grown up woman, not a bratty little girl. I am a good daughter, I just have King Victim for a father and his new wife Queen Bully in their Queendom Denialland. Since I am a better person as the facts show, I am too high class to fit in to that family.
I hope the Queen deigns to let you send your disabled daughter you have never had to do jackshit for the $500 so she can stay alive. If you have some sobstory to get out it, tell the lies to Mom. We both know you are spineless, or perhaps teste-less. And you take out your anger with Pam on me and Mom because you are in such a sick abusive marriage.
I feel so sorry for my sisters. You two are such screaming psychos I cannot imagine what they live with. You in terror, Pam terrorizing. And when you die, Pam will conveniently have me disappeared from their lives.
It is so sad I have a father whom I can not trust. At age 70 he still hasn’t become a man and taken responsibility for his life. But hey he told me that’s how he likes. Yet remember this: You still are responsible. You can blame Pam or Mom or me all you want your decisions but at the end of your life you will have that shame staring you in the face saying “You were a liar and a coward who allowed people who loved and trusted to you to come to harm because you were selfish. And then you blamed them for you hurting them.”
I would LOVE to have me, Pam and Mom all in a room with you and watch your lies shift and your panic rise. Oh no, who might emotionally scare you the most? Oh no how do you please everyone so you don’t have to ever grow some balls?
I deserved and deserved a much better father and you do notin any way deserve a daughter as easy as me. May the girls steal your car and wreck it, run up $2000 in texting, steal your liquor, thrash your home throwing parties, be arrested for shoplifting, steal your checks – You know, the normal stuff teenagers do, when I was working and paying rent on leases I did not break.
Me and Mom have made you life so easy. This is perhaps my only regret, that no one has ever held you accoutablebecause your screaming and guilttripping is tiresome. Go work that magic of terrible parenting with the girls and let them know when they are 18 I have a SAFE place for them to live, if I am not dead because Pam decided you cannot send your disabled daughter $500 a month, not even enough to rent a room.
I don’t want fleas so I won’t lie with you again. Have your dramaramas Pam controlled life until you die, just don’t ever talk to me again. It’s just a waste of my love which so many wonderful deserve, people who actually love me. Hey, Dad, guess what, a lot of people think I am amazing. Too bad if my dad does he can only show or say it when his wife is not around. I don’t want that crappy love, I want REAL love and I am not taking the scraps Pam allows you to throw me from the trash anymore. You are a bad father.
So you do not get the privilege of cosigning a lease with me, something I need to have a home because I do not have a job to put on an application. No co-signer, no home. You don’t want me to have a home. Your reason is that if I fuck you over you’ll have to pay “thousands and thousands,”which has no legal reality, and is incredibly insulting. Look, you called me liar so many times when I questioned your and Pam’s lies. You cannot call me someone who would break a lease and fuck others over. This relationships requires me eating so much shit and I am sick of being degraded all the time.
I am a good person. There is not one shread of evidence that I would do anything illegal or harmful. A person’s future behavior is best determined by their previous behavior. Well, if you look at the string of broken promises and the way our relationship is controlled by what Pam has forbidden, you are a very shady business partner.
Maybe you two can binge drink and scream at each other. It’s high class because the beer is imported, right?
Total embarrassment to me. A pussy whipped father.
You have been blocked from my cell phone and both my email addresses.
You have hurt me and insulted me for the last time. I will not take this living by Pam’s decree anymore. A real dad loves his daughter no matter what his nutjob wife screams. I won’t date men who treat me this bad and never have. At least all the men I have been with were of higher moral quality than you. I wish Grandmum was here for me to tell her all this. Since she was the first angry woman you feared and were controlled by and she loved me, then maybe you would be able to, too.
I wanted a Dad like my friends have. Dads who do not sell out their kids repeatedly. I left you alone for decades because you sucked at fathering and were such an angry, guilt tripping mess. You barely had to do a thing as my father. Mom did it all for you even when you lived with us.
I wish you offered to send that $500 on your own because you loved me and cared about me. Normal disabled children do not have to beg for it and get their Moms to also beg. Normal children who are disabled do not have to worry that a sailboat or gym membership might mean that they won’t have a home. Normal disabled children with perfect financial and legal histories do not have to beg to get their father to SIGN a leae because disabled people have to have a co-signer. What messages are you sending me Dad? Look, you are treating me like a criminal with no proof of me ever doing anything you fear.
Well, at least I know without a doubt you do not respect trust or love me.
Oh I am sorry this is about me. Umm, ok, poor you, poor you, poor you, yes, of course I understand that Pam comes first and when she is not being so mean to you, you can be my Daddy. Poor Daddy stuck with mean Pam. It’s not like he’s a grown up man or anything. Oh wait!.....
